Scattershooting on a Monday while wondering if we’ve seen last of snow . . .

Scattershooting

“The fumble-fingered Seattle Mariners entered May on pace to commit a whopping 187 errors this season,” notes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “So if the M’s host a Sesame Street Night this season, chances are it’ll be brought to you by the letter ‘E.’ ”

——

One more from Perry: “From the Sometimes These Items Just Write Themselves file comes word that Houston Astros farmhand Seth Beer hit home runs on back-to-back Thirsty Thursday beer discount nights — April 25 and May 2 — for the Fayetteville (Ark.) Woodpeckers. As for fans of beer and Beer, that’s what you call a doubleheader.”


When Brighton and Hove Albion scored in the 75th minute of a 1-1 draw with Newcastle in a recent Premier League soccer game, it was the club’s first goal in 12 hours 15 minutes of playing time over seven games. Seriously!


Airlines


Headline at TheOnion.com: Retired Marshawn Lynch goes into Yeast Mode while baking.


Starting pitcher Chris Sale of the Boston Red Sox started 0-4, 7.43 this season, which resulted in RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com noting that “the only pitcher looking worse lately is the Trivago guy.”


“Oregon is producing more marijuana than it can legally sell, as in a surplus of 1 million pounds,” reports Perry. “In a related story, demands to be traded to the Portland Trail Blazers just shot through the roof.”


WIFI


Once a pro league goes down the video review rabbit hole there isn’t any turning back, which is why the NHL has to take an immediate look at all major penalties that result in game misconducts next season. . . . And don’t make me laugh by claiming that this will only lengthen game times. Hey, it isn’t like there are four of these penalties a game.


Is Pierre McGuire the only broadcaster in captivity who is able to speak without breathing, something that allows him to just keep on talking and talking and talking . . .?


In case you are wondering why old friend Jack Finarelli is the Sports Curmudgeon, here’s a recent example:

“I read a report recently that a school district in Central New York will not use any pesticides on any of the athletic fields in the district.  Folks there have run across some “organic stuff” that will be applied to the fields and that will supposedly take care of all the pests that might be associated with large grass fields in that climate zone. How ecologically friendly is that?

“I wonder why they don’t take the next rather obvious step here and end the use of mowing equipment whose 2-cycle engines spew all sorts of environmental nasties into the air.  For the cost of a bit of fencing the school district managers could get a few goats and turn them loose on the field to let Mother Nature really take over there.”

Now you know my he’s a must-read on a daily basis.


It is Friday, 11:25 a.m. There are six Rogers Sportsnet channels available on our satellite TV feed. One of them is showing darts. Of course, it is. . . . The St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs are just starting a game on another one. On the other four? The game from the previous night between the Toronto Blue Jays and Los Angeles Angels.


If you’re wondering what all went down after the Kentucky Derby on Saturday, Tim Layden of Sports Illustrated has the story right here.


Hunch

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