Scattershooting on a Saturday night before a day of virus-ravaged NFL games . . .

Scattershooting


“Detroit Lions DB Mike Ford got penalized for taunting after teammate Jamal Agnew’s 74-yard punt return cut the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ lead to 40-7,” writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times. “They had to rule it taunting, because there’s no such thing as 15 yards for stupidity.”



Dabo Swinney of the Clemson Tigers was one of the many NCAA football coaches who went the entire season without learning how to properly wear a facemask. Of course, he’s also the guy who ranked Ohio State, 6-0 at the time, at No. 11 in the coaches’ poll. That was before the Buckeyes handed his Tigers a 49-28 drubbing in the Sugar Bowl on New Year’s Day.


It’s really too bad that someone who pulls strings in the world of NCAA football didn’t instruct the on-field officials to throw flags for unsportsmanlike conduct every time a coach was spotted with his mask under his nose or under his chin. Of course, had that happened it would have taken them about five hours to play one game.


Monk


Headline from @TheOnion: Facebook clarifies site not intended to be users’ primary information source.


So . . . when you were a youngster and ate a Christmas orange — OK, a mandarin orange — did you try to get the peel off all in one piece and then wolf down the slices, including all the white stuff? And now that you’re a mature adult, do you sit there and painstakingly remove all that white stuff, one strip at a time from one slice at a time before eating?


RB Alvin Kamara wore one red shoe and one green shoe on Christmas Day as he scored six touchdowns to lead the host New Orleans Saints to a 52-33 victory over the Minnesota Vikings. Kamara is well aware that he plays in the No Fun League, so he knew he was going to have to pay for his sin. As he told reporters: “You know that the Grinch always tries to steal Christmas.”

——

True to form, the No Fun League touched up Kamara for $5,000. As Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times noted, it left “pundits to speculate whether it was $2,500 per shoe, the green shoe put him in the red, or the red shoe cost him some green.”



Back to the NFL for a moment. . . . That’s the league where the Indy Colts could finish 11-5 and miss the playoffs . . . and the New York football Giants could be 6-10 and in. Seriously!


Headline at TheOnion.com: Report: 750,000 Americans die each year during first attempt to get back in shape.



Abe


THE COVID-19 CHRONICLES . . .

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Entertainment Weekly: Legendary talk show host Larry King has been hospitalized after testing positive for COVID-19.​

KTVU: Funeral homes in the hot spot of Southern California say they must turn away grieving families as they run out of space for the bodies piling up.​

CNN, Saturday, 8:47 p.m.: 350,000 people in the United States have died from coronavirus.

CNN, Saturday, 7:50 p.m. PT: 20.4 million people in the United States have tested positive for coronavirus.

——

Tony Romo, CBS-TV’s top NFL analyst, was to have worked the game between the Arizona Cardinals and Los Angeles Rams on Sunday. But he’s out because of COVID-19 protocols and will be replaced by Boomer Esiason. . . .

The New Orleans Saints, who are to play the Carolina Panthers on Sunday, ran out of running backs on Saturday when they placed Latavius Murray, Michael Burton and Dwayne Washington on the reserve/COVID-19 list as close contacts of Alvin Kamara, who had tested positive earlier in the week. . . . Running backs coach Joel Thomas also will be out as a close contact. . . . Also out due to COVID-19 are S D.J. Swearing and S C.J. Gardner-Johnson, while S Marcus Williams is out with an ankle issue.

The Pittsburgh Steelers put CB Joe Haden, TE Eric Ebron and LB Massius Marsh on the reserve/COVID-19 list. . . . They won’t play Sunday against the Cleveland Browns who, on Saturday, closed their facility for the third time in four days after another positive test, this time to wide receivers coach Chad O’Shea. Bill Callahan, the Browns’ offensive line coach, and his assistant, Scott Peters, are out due to COVID-19 protocols. The Browns also will be without CB Denzel Ward, TE Harrison Bryan, LB Malcolm Smith, LB B.J. Gordon and S Andrew Sendejo, all of whom tested positive this week. . . .

The Buffalo Bills placed TE Tyler Kroft on the reserve/COVID-19 list on Saturday so he won’t play Sunday against the Miami Dolphins. . . .

The Arizona Cardinals won’t have WR Christian Kirk when they play the Los Angeles Rams on Sunday because he’s on the reserve/COVID-19 list. . . .

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who get the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, have placed LB Devin White, LB Shaq Barrett and DL Steve McLendon on the reserve/COVID-19 list. . . .

The Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants will play Sunday without some personnel. Dave DeGuglielmo, the Giants’ offensive line coach, tested positive, so he’s out. The Cowboys will be without S Darian Thompson and DT Justin Hamilton, both of whom now are on the reserve/COVID-19 list. As well, assistant head coach Rob Davis, offensive assistant Scott Tolzien and special teams assistant Matt Daniels didn’t make the trip due to protocols.


If you are interested in being a living kidney donor, more information is available here:

Living Kidney Donor Program

St. Paul’s Hospital

6A Providence Building

1081 Burrard Street

Vancouver, BC V6Z 1Y6

Tel: 604-806-9027

Toll free: 1-877-922-9822

Fax: 604-806-9873

Email: donornurse@providencehealth.bc.ca

——

Vancouver General Hospital Living Donor Program – Kidney 

Gordon and Leslie Diamond Health Care Centre

Level 5, 2775 Laurel Street

Vancouver, BC V5Z 1M9

604-875-5182 or 1-855-875-5182

kidneydonornurse@vch.ca

——

Or, for more information, visit right here.


Barnyard

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